User blog:Lord Rose Thorn/A Fluffy Bunny or a Gluttonous Hare? A Blog About Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring
Personally I love Barty a lot and me and him have had a few playfull spats here and there but''' he is always funny when doing so'. Barty to me is considered to be '''a good friend' and a preciouse gem that should never be lost for any reason. Barty is an awesome person who in my opinion should be revered with the highest respect one could muster. If he and I ever have another playfull little spat I'll be sure to include it here and will await comments patiently, and if Barty is reading, I would like to say YOUR A BIG FAT FLUFFY BUNNY WITH AN EATING DISORDER! Top that! 'ROUND ONE' Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Shut yer blisterin' gob, y' bollywogglin' snapesnipin' bootbottomed ol' toad! '''Lord Rose Thorn Littlelimbed, big bellied, scoffswipin old cur of a Wildcat! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Y' blisterin' teabag o' a toad's grandmother! Lord Rose Thorn Thank you very much ya blisterin windbag! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Y' daintypawed, frogwallopin', bugeyed, plasticlimbed mudmillow! Indeed ah am, Sah Skunk Lord Rose Thorn 'Creepy eyed, twitchidy pawed old mother of a blinkin Gannet! 'ROUND TWO Lord Rose Thorn Who you calling a coward? I NEVER run away from good entertainment! So have anything to say to me you insignificant little newt? Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''This insignifigant little newt sure has something to say to a certain overweight toad stinking up the Chat '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Oh really? Well did your parents ever tell you they lied when they gave you PIE? '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Did yore granny ever tell you how that BOIL came to being on the back of your slimy head, toady? Lord Rose Thorn Barty! Oh Barty! HEY BARTY! You dead? Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Nay, simply avaitink thine foul reply Lord Rose Thorn Your Mama was a slug and your daddy was Cluny! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Well at least I daon't have an extra head growin' on me bottom, unlike yerself, fatty Lord Rose Thorn Oh really? I never noticed cause your fur is so matted and grimy that I couldn't take me eyes off of it! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Ye knwos why yer mother's blind? Cos' ya were so ugly yew singed `er eyes when you wuz born! Lord Rose Thorn Are you running away FLUFFY? Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Actually, I still `ave 30 mins...So your own, Stinky! Lord Rose Thorn Wanna know why your tail fur was tanned? Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Why, cuz yew singed me scutt wid yer smell? '''Lord Rose Thorn Nope you sat in a pot of Hotroot Soup that's why! Those otters were so mad they were gonna roast your but even more! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Well atleast I didn't have a marriage proposal fromKing Glagweb's daughtah, y' rottontoothed cad! '''Lord Rose Thorn '''I smell better than you ya rotten scrap eater! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Yer naught but a smudgeon o' mud on me gold plattah, y' rapscallion! '''Lord Rose Thorn At least I know how to shine ya dull scrap of rust! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Atleast I wasn't abandoned by a pig for being too ugly by it's standards! '''Lord Rose Thorn '''At least I can get close to one! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring You? Ha! A mutant toad wouldn't dare look at you! Lord Rose Thorn So what at least vermin want a fight when they see me! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''You know why they always fight you? `Cos they're doing it in hopes of ridding the earth of the most hideous creature to walk the woods since Plumnose '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Not true they say it's what they want to do because they don't want to get near you for being so UGLY! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring You actually believe that? They say such things to you `cos all their friggin fight runs screaming out of them facing you. They're remembering the tales they're mamas' told them at Bedtime about you Lord Rose Thorn I wasn't around that long unlike you ya nasty buggaboo of a HARE BRAINED IDIOT! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Learn to speak English, ya puffed up buffoon! Your scaring the Flitchaye! '''Lord Rose Thorn '''At least the Flitchaye would rather run for their lives from you since they're allergic to ya! Plus they can talk better than you! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Lord Brocktree's afraid to be twenty miles near you, ya blisterin' bollywoggle o' a frog princess! Lord Rose Thorn '''Oh yeah? At least I'm ruler of the mountain and not a servant to it! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Frogfaced, swinescarin',talltailed, jobjumpin', bogbootin', goatguttin', lily-livered brigand! '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Oh yeah? Well at least Gulo the Savage didn't eat my family! Barrel bottomed, half witted, stubby tailed, crooked eyed, freak of the deeps!! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring I believe yer mistakin' my family history with your not-as-colorful one, Pigface Lord Rose Thorn At least I'm Prince of my country and Lord of Salamandastron! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Atleast I'm not mistaking your pigsty for a country and the garbage can for a mountain '''Lord Rose Thorn Fluff footed, Hare brained,Bare bottomed imposter of a decent fighting Hare! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Stop pretending to be a badgah, y' sorry excuse fer a skunk Lord Rose Thorn At least my parents loved me more than they loved PIE as well as mistaking me for one and almost getting baked! What's the matter? Getting FRIZZY? FLUFFY!? Give up ya FRIZZED UP FLUFF BALL? 'ROUND THREE' Lord Rose Thorn Betray what my fluff footed friend? Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Gudd f' yew, y' ol' striped, blue-bottomed buffoon '''Lord Rose Thorn Oh really I always wanted a blue but at least the bulls don't go charging at it red rump! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Actually, scientic studies have proven that movement is what attracts bulls, puddle-rumped or not Lord Rose Thorn '''Oh really ever heard of the Scoffless Lurgy? '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Every heard o' th' Flurjy Twinj? S'wot yer hedgehog granny caused when she farted! '''Lord Rose Thorn '''It's a really bad disease famine struck Hares suffer from! Guess what you got it! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Tchah! HaYOu don't fool me, scummy '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Scummy oh well nothing a good cleaning won't fix. I say what's burning? Smells like PIE! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''I've had 12 tarts in the last half-hour! So your poisoned pies can go get eaten by Justin Bieber fer all I care! *Bites into an apple tart* '''Lord Rose Thorn Oh yeah? Well guess what? I've had four whole containers of my famous Oatmeal and berry cookies! blue Ribbon winner at the County Fair! Oh I do hope so I really hate him! Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Well I've gotten 1st prize in every Food-Eating Contrat in th' Country fer 30 yea straight! '''Lord Rose Thorn Oh well not like I care! At least I'll never have to surrender one crumb of my delicious cookies and BTW those aren't my PIES! Those are your grannies PIES which I bet are your favorite! 'ROUND FOUR' Lord Rose Thorn ''' FLUFF FOOTED BIG BELLIED EXCUSE FOR A BLINKIN BOUNDER!!! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Heya, LRT, y' rotten scallawag '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Rotten? Naw! Not yet at least! Still fresh as a daisy and spry as a bee ole lad! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''I was talking about y' bally interior, y' mis'rable fiend-How are ya since the last day we spat, ol' lad? '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Well to tell the truth mah friend, I've been just fine. Why should we have another spat? It's just not fun any more and it's also bad for one such as I now that I am 18. '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Hmph, well, don't complain t' me when you become a miserable old man with nothing to look forward to-I'm as lithe as an eel and as springy as a jackrabbit thanks to my daily exercise of spat '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Is that a challenge I detect? You seem rather excited to be put in your place yet again. '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Hoho, all talk and no spat, eh? You've become quite th' pushover, y' maddened infidel-Daring t' challenge such a champion as I! '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Champion? Phwa and here I thought you were a lazy ole coot who had been away doing nothing but stuffing your face and laying about! Tcha the indignity of it all, you should be ashamed of yourself sah! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Look who's talkin', y' snotty wretch! Th' gent who had just been complaining about how he was too old and fat to bother lifting a finger against me! Lord Rose Thorn 'Your hearing or should I say your eyes must be rotten sah! I never said I was fat or old now did I? You must be the fat and old one! I'm skinny as a willow and tall as an oak! Top that ya stubby pawed short legged scoundrel! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Well, wot d' ya know, a miserable little midget pretending he's big an' tall! Well welcome to the land of Skyscrapers, Dorothy, you aren't in dusty Kansas no more! '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Oh Dorothy now eh? Look who it is then, the Wicked Witch of the West I believe. What an old ugly hag you are! Here let me clean you up with a pale of water dearie! Oh dear look at that ugly old tattoo. Why would you have three W? '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Your the reason mothers don't let their children go out after dark, you scummy old misery-I feel bad now that I'm antagonizing you, seeing as you must have been hallucinating from drug poisoning before coming on here! '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Oh? Well shame on you. I'm clean as a matter of fact, and that is that however you see it, you're just a big fat rat! No kindness nor care of anyone however fair. Just bitter ugliness and hate, you know something now? You are very very late! You appointment is over your diagnosis confirmed, you're naught but an ugly sad little worm! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''Pff, you can't even go through a simple conversation between comrades before going all Dr. Seuss, well I've got something to tell ya, Theodor, we're in the real world! I may be a rat, but your nothing but a sick old toad, staring dumbly at a screen and whiling away your life, hoping someone would step up and let you waste their time! Well not any more, yew wretched little fiend, for I'm here to represent your Waterloo! '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Oh sorry couldn't help but laugh, you're so funny looking all high and mighty well here's the truth to it all. You're the worst person I've ever fought with, Dr. Seuss would praise me where he would boo you! I'm a dandy little lad aye and a witty one too! Where have you been? For the past month or two? Moaning and complaining, scheming and caniving, you even had to steal your ma's phone to get on am I right? Tsk tsk tsk sah. Such a disgrace! Never thought you'd resort to stealing at all in the first place! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '*Sighs pitifully, before going off to chuck himself into the gutters. LRT has once again won!* 'Lord Rose Thorn '''And that's the truth! '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring '''I knew I could bring back the old days for a moment at least! I tip my hat to you in your Victory, sir! '''Lord Rose Thorn '''Oh nothing to it ole boy, surely it is you who has rekindled the flame inside me that burns and drives me to spat with you. Good show ole boy! Jolly good show indeed! 'ROUND FIVE Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring ' '''Lord Rose Thorn ' '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Lord Rose Thorn ' '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring ' 'Lord Rose Thorn ' '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Lord Rose Thorn ' '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring ' 'Lord Rose Thorn ' '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring Lord Rose Thorn ' '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring ' 'Lord Rose Thorn ' '''Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring 'Lord Rose Thorn ' Category:Blog posts